Kenapa lah kau ni tak faham bahasa?

Sebuah entry yang penuh perasaan amarah dan bahasa x#$*... Readers, be forewarned!!

Last Week's Wednesday:
Orang Yang Tak Faham Bahasa (OYTFB): Hani, bila barang yang saya order boleh sampai ha? I need to get the thing here by tomorrow or latest Friday. If not, I won't get the payment.

Me: Eh, itu Customs forms baru semalam sent to my HQ la..Today will reach there. Impossible to have it cleared from Customs by today.

OYTFB: Aiyah! Why so late one (marah lah konon?) I also don't know what to do already.

Me: You Invoice first lah. You can chop-sign yourself what? I will give you the serial number.

OYTFB: OK lah, OK lah...See what I can do. You fax me the serial number.

Me: I SMS you lah?

OYTFB: You fax, better

Me: How to fax lah? I am now driving, on the way to Melaka. Won't go in to the office.

OYTFB: You get your HQ people to help you to fax lah.

Me: (Dalam hati) B*ng*p betul lah kau ni... Menyusahkan orang je..

Me: OK, I will get my HQ people to fax you the serial number. You invoice customer first

Lepas tu I kena bebel with HQ people sebab menyusahkan dia with such a stupid task. SMS pun boleh maaa?

Last week's Friday:
Pagi-pagi buta I received an SMS from OYTFB, asking "Hani, what is the status?" to which I replied by a phone call.

Me: Your stuff is out from Penang Airport already. We are now arranging to ship it down to you via N*t**nw*d*

OYTFB: So, when can I receive it?

Me: By right, tomorrow. But I am not working tomorrow. So, Monday lah.

OYTFB: I can arrange for somebody to wait at the premise and receive the shipment tomorrow

Me: But I won't be there what? I need to inspect and check that everything is ok and I also need to collect the payment from you

OYTFB: Do you know what time will they reach the premise? I can arrange for someone to wait

Me: (duh?) I don't know what time will they reach there. Normally they follow specific routes and we won't know the exact time they will reach your place for the delivery

OYTFB: Can you call and check?

Me: (Dalam hati) Apesal b*ng*p sangat mamat ni? Tak reti bahasa ke?

Me: No point for me to call and check also because they won't inform the handphone numbers of the courier man, so we still won't know what time they will arrive.

OYTFB: Like that kah? I think ah, you need to change courier service lah. Your's seemed to be unreliable

Me: (duh?) (Dalam hati) Suka hati m*k b*p*k ko je nak suruh orang tukar courier service ye? Kitorang takde problem pun dengan diorang?

Me: Monday lah.. I will see you there when the thing arrive (and quickly hang up)

Last Week's Saturday:
Pagi-pagi buta lagi dah dapat SMS: Hani, what time do you think the goods will arrive at my office? I need to arrange for my friend to come and bring the cheque

Aku tak kerja la hari ni b*ng*ng!
To which I replied: I do not know what time will it arrive. You just inform your people there to accept on behalf of you and then let you know once it arrives in the office. Then, you call me and I will go there to inspect with you and collect the cheque from you

Last Monday:
Pagi-pagi buta dapat SMS lagi: Hani, what time is the goods arriving? I need to arrange with my friend so that he can bring over the cheque
(adus! Berapa kali nak tanya ni????????????)

My reply: I don't know what time it will arrive. Takkan you expect me to wait at your place the whole day? Just inform me when the thing arrive, then I will go there. Just get the cheque ready!

When I reached my office, he called,
OYTFB: Eh Hani! Don't be angry ah? I just want to know when the thing will arrive.

Me: (By now, I was practically screaming my head off!) I DON'T KNOW WHEN THE COURIER MAN WILL ARRIVE AT YOUR OFFICE!

OYTFB: But my friend won't release the cheque to me until the goods reach here!

Me: THEN, YOU GET YOUR FRIEND TO WAIT THERE AT YOUR OFFICE UNTIL THE GOODS ARRIVES! THEN, YOU INFORM ME AND I WILL COME OVER. TAKKAN YOU WANT ME TO WAIT FOR THE COURIER MAN AT YOUR OFFICE THE WHOLE DAY (Dalam Hati: MACAM LAH AKU TAKDE KEJE AND CUSTOMER LAIN SELAIN NAK MENGADAP KO JE?)

OYTFB: Can you call the courier man and check?

Me: WHY DON'T YOU CALL THEM AND CHECK FOR YOURSELF?

OYTFB: OK, OK, you SMS me the reference number and the phone number of the courier company

Me: OK (hang up) x*%x%#@**##$! G* m*mp*s!